


Sleepsong

by twinpersonalitys



Series: summer days and moonshine [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comforting, Distant Parents, Empress Feferi Peixes, Ficlet, Other, parental figures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 19:12:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18531376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinpersonalitys/pseuds/twinpersonalitys
Summary: on a stormy evening, feferi tells her daughter how her empire came to be.this was originally written for the 2019 feferi zine, but due to personal circumstances, didn't get in on time.





	Sleepsong

You sneak into her room when the storm keeps you awake, wind pounding at the blacked-out windows, like it's trying to get in to you, snatch you from your recuperacoon like the fairy stories your carer reads to you sometimes. It's not hard for your young brain to turn half-fancied goblins and ghouls into very real terrors, just waiting for you to drop your guard.

You pad into her bedroom. the dimmed lights and soft smell of flowers perfuming the air.   
It's a rare sight to see her like this, sitting at her vanity, alone but for you. She's normally surrounded by a shoal of people, like fish that cling to the whales and sharks in your picture books. You’re sometimes allowed to go see her in the grand ballroom, when your carer makes you wash behind your fins and put on your fancy dresses that itch and rustle when you walk, and twists your hair up while you squirm in your seat and make faces in the mirror, so you can go in and smile and curtsy and shake hands and do all the other boring things your tutors tell you to do. You sit through it all, because then your mother smiles at you, and she always looks so beautiful in the shimmery gowns she wears, and her jewelry glitters in the lights. You love watching her dance, hand in hand with dignitaries in stuffy coats and pointy shoes. 

Her attention is always so fleeting, however, like the little fish that swim in the pond gardens outside your rooms, that escape your hands when you try and catch them

She looks so lonely though, even surrounded by smiling faces and laughing voices. You’ve spent hours looking at her coronation portrait, and you can't find the sad eyes you know so well anywhere in the face of the woman who sits on the throne and holds the trident, and stares out at you from her hopeful gaze. The dress in the portrait is old, foamy and soft. the flowers and shells in her hair, in glossy curls around her face, and cascading over her shoulders, are so removed from the sleek metallic pins and beads she wears now. They jingle softly as she pulls them out of her elaborate twists and lays in their velvet lined boxes.

She's humming, and the sounds of the rain beating against the windows hypnotize you, captured. She catches your eye in the mirror, softly smiling, and sets her comb down.

“Meenah”

You stand at her side, lit in the warm glow of her lamps. You are anxious, for a second, that she’ll reprimand you for sneaking in, but she tucks your hair behind your fin, cool hands gentle.

“Can't sleep, my love?” 

You nod, and she rises, lifting you into her arms and carrying you to her plush window-seat, nestling you at her side, wrapping you in her expansive chiffon peignoir. The deep blue drapery shelter you from the unforgiving sun, and you are entranced by the embroidered stars that glitter and surround you when she pulls the curtains closed, ensconcing you both in comfort. 

“Shall i tell you a story, starlight?” 

You nod, snuggling closer to her, and she tucks your horns under her chin, so you can cuddle closer. She runs her hands through your hair, stroking your forehead just so, as you settle in for her story.

“Once upon a time, when i was a young troll, no bigger than you are, i came here to live. It was such a long journey by hoofbeast-drawn carriage, all the way from the caverns to here. I had never seen something so large, i and i was so small and squiddly, that i thought this must be full of new trolls to meet, and spend my days with. But i was alone, and i climbed and explored for days and days, and made up such games to entertain myself.”

The rain against the windows taps along, and the sound of the waves crashing sounds so gentle

“Then, one day, i was taken to meet another troll, a seadweller, like me. He was to be my moirail, and he brought more and more and more friends, until the palace was so full to bursting of love and happiness i thought it must collapse under such joy.” her eyes shimmer, and a fushia tear tracks down her cheek. You reach up to wipe it, and she kisses your palm.

“My friends and i were all colours of the rainbow, and no trolls had ever loved each other, and lived together in harmony like this in thousands and thousands of sweeps. I saw us all, and decided that all of beforus could live like this, together in our shared love.” there is a spark in her eyes as she speaks, one you almost recognize

“When my mother came down to see if i was to be a good empress, she saw our wonderful rainbow, and was so confused and angry. See, when she was a young troll, trolls lived apart, and our warm-blooded friends lived in subgication, and did not have us to cull them gently when they needed us, and our empire was full of sadness and pain.”

“But my mother thought that that was how it should be, and that it was our right to take what we desired, because our blood made us higher. I fought with her, and tried to tell her that our subjects needed us, to love them and care for them.”  
“when i was victorious. I was coronated, and i built our empire, so we may always live together in the joy and love i had known, that we all might know”

Your eyes droop, her voice low, images of colorful trolls dancing in your head

“And that's how it will be, when you are grown. You’ll know the love i knew, and that i know when i hold you, my starlight.” 

her voice begins to drift, as sleep takes you.

As your eyes fall closed, just before sleep takes you, you see her as she gathers you closely, her face shining with something you can't name, and for the first time,in her eyes, you see the hopeful girl, staring out of her portrait, on to the light of a new moonrise.


End file.
